is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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