His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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