omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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