i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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