I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
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