Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
