I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
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