I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
