just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Randomize