She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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