i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
i will never coherently bang her
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
