Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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