I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
