And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize
