My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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