The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
now i know why i became what i already was.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
