If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
