I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
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