one might say we're banned from that church
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
