I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
