Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I still have a little drunk in my system
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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