'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
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