I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
