i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
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