you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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