I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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