there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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