the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
