I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
My ass is underappreciated
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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