My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
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He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
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And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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