i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Randomize
