i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
