as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
