At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
My feet surprised me
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