he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
