Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
