i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
