I could have mohawked her pubes.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
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