So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
