Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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