I don't usually arrange sex via text message
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
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she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize