There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
