I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
