well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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