Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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