Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
The power of my boobs compel you
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
