The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
