What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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