At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
try to milk me bitch
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