Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
