Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize
