So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
