Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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