I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
