btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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