you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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