he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Randomize
