thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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