I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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