Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
