Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize
