No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
Randomize
