My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Randomize
