just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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