am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
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