The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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