Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize