Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
farters have to be the big spoon...
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
